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The Opponents
The Opponents are a Level-3 ice hockey team based on Kowloon Island. They are members of the Metropolis Hockey Organization. The club was founded in 2009 by Owner and GM fixedyard, who neither owns a yard nor if he did would it likely be functional. In their ten-season existence, the Opponents have made the playoffs every time, winning two Dominance Trophies and two Metro Cups. Since their inception, the Opponents have never had a losing season. History The Opponents were founded in mid-2009. Every once and a while they join a league and actually play. Most of the time they just sit around because they're lazy and hard to motivate. What are you gonna do? Also, one time a rabid dog came into the locker room. Nothing happened, but it was kind of scary, and really weird. Like, how did a dog get inside here? Plus the whole team was in the middle of getting dressed so when the dog came in everyone turned toward the dog and then realized they were all just standing there staring at each other's dicks. Like the fact that a dog with rabies might bite somebody's ass doesn't make it gay enough. I think one guy said "No Homo", though, so it was okay to take a look. A long, hard, throbbing look. Anyway I don't remember the whole thing with the dog but I think it turned out that the dog had a flat tire and needed someone to call roadside assistance. Unless I'm thinking of this other time where my friend Neil needed the roadside help and I'm confusing him with the dog, in which case, nevermind. Team Information Colors Red, Metallic Gold, Black Mascot Donald Duck, in a devil costume. It's really cool. See? GOOD NEWS FANS: We have finally obtained the rights to (legally) use the song of a major artist at our games. Now you can cheer and get pumped while the team takes the ice to the tune of Shania Twain - I Feel Like A Woman * The guy Donald is staring at would be like, right at this asterisk. Jersey Home Away Alternate Season-by-season record ''Important Note: W = Wins, L = Losses'' Current roster Keeping this part updated sucks, so here's a video of a giraffe. Team Captains *Radek Ditter, S1 - S5 *Your Mother, S6 *Mikhail Weingard, S7 - S9 *Clifton Delprincipe, S10 - Present Coaching Staff Head Coach: Fermin Defenbaugh Offensive Coach: Randy Gretzky He says "No relation" but I think he just doesn't want that kind of attention. He doesn't look like Wayne, but he's fat so you can't really tell. Perhaps if he were skinny he'd look more like Wayne, but right now he looks more like he belongs to a family of elephant-seals. Defensive Coach: Ryan Christeson By all accounts, a huge douchebag. Goalie Coach: Sam Meneley Honors Metro Cup *S3 *S10 Dominance Trophy *S3 *S7 You Blew It Award (aka Finalist Trophy) *S5 *S7 MVP *Sam Meneley: S6 *Jason Benney: S7 *Kevin Nitchals: S10 Playoff MVP *Julius Mcgrath: S3 *Kevin Nitchals: S10 Leader's Torch *Radek Ditter: S3 *Mikhail Weingard: S7 Silver Sniper *Nick Hock (1st Degree): S6, S7 *Enoch Bullman (2nd Degree): S2, S3 *Benny Kindley'' (2nd Degree): S4 *Clifton Delprincipe ''(2nd Degree): S9 *Nick Hock (3rd Degree): S8 Platinum Playmaker *Wade Maggart (1st Degree): S6 *Benny Kindley (2nd Degree): S4 *Nikolai Flis (2nd Degree): S7 *Marian Carrus (3rd Degree): S5 *Kevin Nitchals (3rd Degree): S8, S9, S10 Fire Ring (Awarded to players stricken with hemorrhoids) *Nick Hock: S6 *Kevin Nitchals: S9, S10 Phenom Trophy *Radek Ditter: S1 Golden Hammer *Joe Shanna: S7 Quarterback Jacket *Dominic Gollihar (1st Degree): S3, S6 *Mikhail Weingard (1st Degree): S8 *Todd Mullens (3rd Degree): S2 *Mikhail Weingard (3rd Degree): S7, S9 *Kevin Chainey (3rd Degree): S10 Crystal Shield *Ike Train: S6 *Joe Shanna: S7, S8 Brick Pads *Julius Mcgrath: S3 *Sam Meneley: S6, S7 Sexiest Abs *Chris Pratt: Every year #schwing #iusehashtagsonwiki #christiandadswhovape Franchise individual records All of the following are '''single-season '''records. *Most goals: Nick Hock, 75 (S6) *Most assists: Kevin Nitchals, 89 (S10) *Most points: Kevin Nitchals, 119 (S10) *Most penalty minutes: Scott Moscato, 78 (S4) *Most goals, defenseman: Mikhail Weingard, 28 (S8) *Most assists, defenseman: Dominic Gollihar, 58 (S3) *Most points, defenseman: Dominic Gollihar, 74 (S3) *Most goals, rookie: Enoch Bullman, 27 (S1) *Most assists, rookie: Radek Ditter, 28 (S1) *Most points, rookie: Enoch Bullman, 49 (S1) *Goals-against average: Sam Meneley, 1.58 (S7) *Save percentage: Sam Meneley, 94.1% (S6) *Most wins: Sam Meneley, 52 (S7) *Most shutouts: Julius Mcgrath, 12 (S3) / 'Sam Meneley', 12 (S7)